Fragile DReams

~~~~Fragile DReams~~~~

"Tonight your soul sleeps,
but one day you will feel real pain,
maybe then you will see me as I am,
A fragile wreck on a storm of emotion"

Countless times I trusted you,
I let you back in,
Knowing... Yearning... you know
I should have run... but I stayed

Maybe I always knew,
My fragile dreams would be broken for you.

Today I introduced myself,
To my own feelings,
In silent agony, after all these years,
They spoke to me... after all these years

Maybe I always knew...

I am highly distracted as i write this.I wish i could state the reasons , if i knew them myself.

The sordid melancholy dooms upon me a tumulted embroilment.

D's (Divyanshu's) opinion matters 2 me. I havent lived upto his expectations in ma last couple of posts.
U aren ur f***in' self ... I donot like what i write thsesedays. Everything is highly discordant.

Whatever happened was bound to happen..or had already happened...or "It was always lumbering large on me , only i
failed to reconcile with the fact", says Vidhi(VD).( N yes i havent introduced u people 2 Vidhi... it was supposed
2 be done in ODYSSEY ACT 3 ...but then i promised somebody that "Fragile DReams " shall be ma next post )


and as the quixotic me (quoting VD again), in wake of my fragile dreams ,leads a hypnagogic schedule thesedays ...
the reason is now known to you...(hence don piss me off Gautam(GSM) and Arushi(Aru)...just lemme sleep all day if i F**kin want to)

Countless times I trusted you,
I let you back in,
Knowing... Yearning... you know
I should have run... but I stayed
Maybe I always knew,
My fragile dreams would be broken for you.

.......
.......


The solution..... differnt schools of thought[read D , VD ,GSM ,Aru n PJ(Parvesh)] ) have come up with differnt suggestions.

Ma heartfelt gratitude to all five of you ,for all your support and patience, but ill go with Anu's (Anukriti's) advocacy

Hence,

As i fake a smile
decieving maself more than u..
Nothing is that i seek
Nothing is what i regret and deplore.

N after i wasted 20 years of my life trying being affable n suave each existing second ...i was tagged as rude n ill-mannered..
My mom..coz dats all she taught me(being nice no matter wht )...would better see me a Philistine now...then hear such stuff...
I am done pleasing people in that case...

Altruism is what i give up from here on and im gonna desecrate it with high levels of moral corruption, execrable Depravity to put in better words...

So if u see highly derogatory content or a use of harsh,offensive maybe abusive language and even vulgarity in ma future posts
do the favour of not relating it to me ...Coz im me ..."nomore"...

In words of Anu..."u have now learnt ur lesson.."..

In the last 20 odd days ,i have come 2 terms with feelings i had been alien to , for the last 20 yrs of my lifetime.

Highly disconsolate ...what am i mourning for ?

Doggerel in speech...what spoiled my verses ?

Apathetic in attitude...what makes me a misanthrope ?

If that's what has become of me..I reject , I renounce myself, I repel , I repudiate myself.


So,

(addressed 2 "her" )

You're doin' it again, you know
Sometimes I don't even know who you are
And I don't think you know how bad it hurts
'Cause you don't have to see the scars
If you knew how bad you made me feel
You'd never do a thing like this again
But if it's just a game you're playing
I don't think I'll make it to the end

Cause I don't think I'd last that long baby,
I'm not that strong
So if you care about me you've gotta stop acting this way
Or I'm leavin' today

I'll say goodbye to my favorite face
Don't wanna go, but I just can't stay
And be treated, I won't be treated this way.

At times I think I love you
And at times I know I've finally found the one
But it's times like this that make me feel
The game of love has only just begun

I love everything about you
But when I'm in doubt then something's gotta change

Cause I don't think I'd last that long baby,
I'm not that strong
So if you care about me you've gotta stop acting this way

Or I'm leavin' today
I'll say goodbye to my favorite face
Don't wanna go,
but I just can't stay And be treated, I won't be treated this way.....

So, I am leavin...I am leavin Today !!!!

Labels(In order of appearence): D (Divyanshu Srivastava), VD (Vidhi Agarwal), GSM(Gautham Srinivasan Mukundan),
Aru(Arushi Gujral), PJ (Parvesh Jain), Anu (Anukriti Khare).

Credits: INspired from "Real/Unreal" by Bobby(Devansh Gupta)
read complete article on http://simplydevansh.blogspot.com/

Refrences:
Fragile Dreams (Anathema)